days 26-32

Days 26-32: I went to Hawaii with a couple of friends. Both are meditators. It was amazing. I know, I know. Of course it was amazing, I was in Hawaii after all. Besides the obvious reason, like the beauty of the place, I was able to relax in a way I haven’t in years. This was the first time I had gone away for more than a few days and I felt my anxiety melt away. I meditated every day. I sat outside with the sound of the ocean and the light breeze and I closed my eyes. Some days were easier and some days were less so, but it’s finally starting to feel like a real part of my life and I’m so grateful. Today is my first day home and I haven’t sat down yet but I will!

days 24 & 25

Days 24 & 25: I am still struggling. There, I said it. I really think I should be having an easier time of it by now. But I’m not. I have been ending before the timer goes off lately because the whole time I’m sitting there with my eyes closed trying to meditate, I just feel like I’m sitting with my eyes closed! And more thoughts come at me than ever. I’m going to Hawaii tomorrow with my friend and meditation partner so I know I will have some good sessions there. I'm grateful to be in the practice but I just want to feel more peaceful in it no matter if I’m sitting with someone else or by myself.

day 23

Day 23: Today was pretty good. No wait, today was good. I realized the other day that with all of the crazy thoughts that fly into my mind, there are also moments of calm. It’s like a glass half empty/half full thing. I can choose to remember only that I had chaos in my mind or I can know that there was also beauty. I am choosing to look at the beautiful practice that I am creating.

days 21 & 22

Days 21 & 22: The last 2 days were better. I meditated both days with my friend. We exercised first and then sat down for 20 minutes to practice. There is something that helps me to settle and calm my mind more when I have the energy of another person who is there with me. I tend to isolate a lot when I am sad or frustrated so this is a welcome change for me.