Day4: This time I told myself that I was going to meditate right after I finished some work on the computer. One thing led to another and suddenly I was running late for work(I own a little bead/jewelry shop). I had to go. I got so flustered as I was rushing out that I forced myself to go right back into my apt and sit my ass down. I told myself that 20 mins of meditation was more important than anything in that moment. So I sat down, turned off the alerts, turned on the timer and started. My anxiety was so heightened by that point that after what seemed like an eternity, I peeked at the clock. It had only been 7 minutes. No, not 7 minutes of heaven, 7 minutes of hell! I turned the damn thing off and ran off to my store. Of course now I was judging myself for my “failure” to meditate. There’s always tomorrow, right?
Day 16: Well I guess I thought that I had turned the meditation corner, that it would just keep getting better and better. I was wrong. I woke up anxious this morning. Not even sure why but it was there in the pit of my stomach. An uneasy feeling. What better time to meditate right? I found a sweet spot outside with a light breeze and I started. Where was that sweet spot I had just found? It was as if it was my forst time. I kept fidgeting. I was concerned that people walking by were looking at me. I was thinking about what I needed to do and what I had forgot to do. Ugh! I decided to be easy on myself. Every day in meditation is different as is every day in life. Today is as it should be. I’m grateful for that. Tomorrow is another day.
