day 5

Day 5: I decided not to put so much emphasis on whether or not I “practiced” every day. I told myself that even if I was only able to sit a few days a week, it would be ok, it would still be beneficial. To judge myself so harshly defeats the purpose, and that taking some of the pressure off will help me to actually do it. So that day I leisurely turned off the alerts and turned on the timer. 20 minutes. I kept breathing and saying “om sa, om sa”. Now I was so aware of my breathing that each breath started to feel forced. It was like I couldn’t get a deep enough breath. I was trying too hard to control each breath and it was making me anxious. Aaaahhh! When will I be able to meditate like everyone else? When will I start to feel like I’m really meditating?